Seven Days Part 3 The Revenge

Well, balls. It's six books and an intro page this week, apologies. I haven't quite finished the seventh yet, as the travelling and comicon I'm at have interrupted things, perhaps unexpectedly. Chicago is great but the jetlag is less so. But I think you'll like the intro page though - it ends very grandly.

Previous posts for this National Poetry Month reading endeavour are here and here, and explain the nonsense of what I'm doing...

JO Morgan, In Casting Off (HappenStance, 2015)
A strange sort of love story, told across the whole book in separate poems. A remote coastal village, and somehow a love of the remote, of the sea, of the brutal realities of life and death, all woven in. Lyrical, delicate, very musical in the way the words chime against each other. Like a folktale almost, or a set of folk whispers. Seals and bears and the shedding of skins.

Eds. Rachel Piercey and Emma Wright, Campaign in Poetry (Emma Press, 2015)
A meaty pamphlet anthology, published between the last election and the referendum, but I wanted to bring it out again as it seems timely. An incitement to write about politics, to engage, to avoid being didactic. Lots of playful metaphors and nuanced delving: historial, political, colonial, contemporary. All strong pieces. Poets include Kayo Chingonyi, Mona Arshi, Luke Kennard, Jon Stone, Holly Hopkins and lots more.

Simon Armitage, New Cemetery (Propolis Books, 2017)
Not the new collection, but a beautiful tall thin black and white illustrated hardback I picked up in the Waterloo Foyles. A new cemetery, and a new poetry sequence, under construction. A whole drift of thoughts connected, running in tercets. Like all the best fictions, opens with a map. It addresses the reader directly throughout. Each spread is a new abstraction of line and colour behind the words. The poet is in his shed. The poet thinks about lovers locking their wishes onto the railings at Pont Neuf. The poet thinks about the new cemetery being built in the hills. Simple. Abstract. Visual. Stark.

Denise Riley, Dry Air (Virago, 1985)
Lots about text here. The perfect poetry to read on a journey, in transit, in between countries. A disruption of language, often, a disruption of received rules of the use of language to shift emphasis, perspective. Some selections from other volumes, Marxism for Infants and No Fee, some versions of Hölderlin. Pieces about gender, feminism, history, purpose, family - lots of moments and images. Places. Ambitions. A feeling of being lost and trying to piece things together with words. It's great. To be held more than just once in the lap on a long-haul flight.

CK Williams, The Singing (Bloodaxe, 2003)
I know lots of individual CK Williams poems, but not many full collections, so here's one, one of many from a long career. He has a very familiar colloquial sort of voice. He's a good storyteller, but constructs it all carefully in regular formal structures. Lots of symbolism (clear, not surreal). I was interrupted reading the third section, which is a nine-page elegy for artist Bruce McGrew, and felt horrified that I hadn't been able to read it in one go, as though the interruption was a mark of disrespect. The book is notable especially I think for the final section, with poems written during and after the Iraq War, about fear, political insanity, uncertainty, and a world of despair.

Matthew Welton, The Number Poems (Carcanet, 2016)
Useful lines by way of introduction: "The mind is multiplicity."; "The way we construct the distinctions between things relies solely on our hunches." There are so many ideas and fun and games here, that it's nice to sink into them and reread and let them swirl around. Lots of shifting sequences which change in minute variations. Something about repetition. And curiosity. And thought. Reimagining worlds, words, meanings and how we construct them. Also: apple waffles.

Stephen Crane, Poems (Chatto & Windus, 1972)
So, yes I ran out of time here, only twenty pages in to a sixty-four page book. I'll be finished with it later, but due to the time difference I won't get a chance to post this until Sunday. I'll add the write-up onto next week's though. Here's the first paragraph of the intro page to the book as a tease. Isn't the last line spectacular?


More next week...


Seven Days More

Another week, another seven poetry publications. Two pamphlets in the mix this time, and one Selected. I'm travelling next week for work, so it'll be interesting to see if I manage to stay on top of it all then. To read the first seven, along with caveats about the perils of blitz-reading poetry, here's last week's entry. Onwards!

Emma Hammond, Waves on a Boring Beach (zimzalla, 2017)
Brexit, Trump, Jo Cox and other horrors of the past year filtered through the Walthamstow mall in East London. Lots of things in these poems. Slanted images. Complex. Familiar things juxtaposed with something more philosophical. Rich Tea biscuits, Chupa Chups, haunted dreams of the eighties. Also made me have to look up the response to a joke setup that I'm mad I didn't already know the answer to ("What do you call a cat in a chemists?"). Made me laugh aloud on the train.

Roy McFarlane, Beginning With Your Last Breath (Nine Arches, 2016)
Direct, immediate, emotional – a lot of autobiographical subject matter here, including his own adoption, and growing up black in Wolverhampton and the Black Country. Really moving moments, lots of jazz in the background, plus poems about intimacy and relationships. I read with Roy in an event about WW1 in February, and could hear his strong melodic reading voice shining through the poems here too.

SJ Fowler, The Guide to Being Bear Aware (Shearsman, 2017)
Oh my goodness – Steve is writing narrative poems! When did this happen?! These poems feel quite different to other work of his I've read. Lots of bears and other animals (some awesome bear poems). Lots of epigraphs from lots of interesting international poets introduce many of the pieces. Not social anxiety, exactly, but maybe more a social frustration? Like a frustration at what we are all doing, because – what are we all doing? Enough obliqueness to keep us on our toes. Really interesting to see him moving in this direction.

Ko Un, First Person Sorrowful (Bloodaxe, 2012)
This Selected launched at the Aldeburgh Festival the year before I first went to it, but I must have picked a copy up the year afterwards. Picked it up and never read it. Ach. I horrified to say I didn't know Ko Un at all before reading this, despite him being the foremost living writer in Korea (go – google him if you don't know him either – he is great!). The poems are a mixture of social activism, sorrow, humour and a sort of cheerful nihilism, an awareness of just how little a dent one life makes in the world of the planet and the greater colder universe beyond it – and yet, even knowing that, there's an ability to shift into delighting at the wagging tail of a poodle, or feeling joy at the smallest blade of grass. There's also a healthy relish of boozing. Something about survival here and, if it's about faith at all, a faith in nature rather than in human bullshit.

Rebecca Tamás, Savage (Clinic, 2017)
A new pamphlet from Rebecca Tamás, full of sex and sexuality, and women, and strong women, and an absence of witches, and an absence of passivity. Hexes and blood and power. A wonderful dry humour too, often. Of woman, of strength. Glorious stuff here.

Laura Wetherington, A Map Predetermined and Chance (Fence Books, 2014)
Picked this up after hearing her read at Xing the Line last year, where I thought she had an interesting mix of lightness and complexity. These poems seem to be working against the idea of narration, and it feels like they're dealing with ideas like infinity and time passing, in the context of sex, birth, death and all that other stuff in the middle. Meaning is often just out of reach – it feels like that's what the poems are actually enacting. There's a sequence to end on that juxtaposes D-Day landings with a school trip / school environment. The school bits have a box drawn around them. It's so simple, but really effective in how it binds or limits those poems, by contrast to the war imagery on the other side which emanates more powerfully across the white page. Thought-provoking. There's also a delightful poem near the start which is a joke about penises presented in musical notation, called 'There is nothing funny about a penis'.

Tom Jenks, Marjorie [1] (Zshboo Press, 2017)
Oh god I love Tom. He makes me laugh so much. And think! He has very elegant ideas about structure and constraint and this is no exception. This is a book of tweets by Marjorie, a "mansplaining fauxbot tweeting daily". This book collects the first hundred tweeted statements, carefully typset, each one ending with the name Marjorie. (eg: JELLYFISH MOSTLY JUST WANT TO BE TREATED AS INDIVIDUALS MARJORIE) Mansplaining does cover a lot of them, but after a while it's as if the simple addition of the name 'Marjorie' at the end, with its vaguely seventies air, turns any statement into an act of mansplaining, as if naming her is an act of reduction in itself. In many cases, if you read a piece without the Marjorie on the end, you get the same feeling as when someone took Garfield out of the Garfield cartoons, leaving Jon to have a traumatic existential crisis by himself. The twitter account is an oulipian joy, and I love the idea of a "faux" bot, but there's also something fascinating about reading them all in one go like this. Poor Marjorie. Poor not-Marjorie. And more fun to be made of mansplaining as a general rule, please and thank you.

Okay – that's me for now. More next week! Oh – and if you want to see some other people doing a NaPoReMo in the meantime, but who are sharing actual poems on a daily basis, try Jacqueline Saphra and Jo Bell.

Seven Days

I am rather in awe of people who undertake the "write a poem a month and stick it online" project for NaPoWriMo (National Poetry Writing Month). I'm not that quick. Which also means I never seem to have poems to spare. I am a quick reader though – even if poetry isn't exactly ideal for being blitz-read – but the pile of shame next to my bed isn't getting any smaller, so I figured I might try out a NaPoReMo instead, and see if I can stay on top of reading one book of poems every day and writing something about it. 

I can tell you in advance, from having done the first chunk of seven days, that I'll definitely be favouring the "slim volume", and will also throw in a few pamphlets too by way of variety / cheating. It's also making me think lots about the way I read poetry. Or the way I read differently for different types of poetry. 

These aren't reviews or anything like that. Just a random collection of books I wanted to read and a few thoughts I noted down after reading them. Okay.  

Amy Newman, Dear Editor (Persea Books, 2011)
A collection of prose poems which each begins "Dear Editor" (which I just freudianly mistyped as "Dead Editor"), each poem being a pretend letter to an editor, discussing an enclosed batch of poems that we never actually get to read. Instead the letters are the poems, and Newman reflects in circling but ever-changing ways about chess, growing up with grandparents, metaphors, poetry workshops, saints, sin, desire... while overall also giving an interesting muse on the nature of poets' relationships with editors, with publication, with themselves. Persistent, wry, engaging. 

Sarah Hesketh, The Hard Word Box (Penned in the Margins, 2014)
A collection written following a residency at a residential care home for people with dementia. A mix of poetic styles, includes some transcribed unaltered interviews that almost take on the semblance of prose poetry due to the way the language is used. A look at language breaking down and a reminder of what is lost at the end of life, of these lives. Painful, funny. 

Sam Riviere, True Colours (After Hours, 2016)
A pamphlet of poems written sort of in statements, sometimes feeling like each poem is a curated collection of individual statements, sometimes feeling like they are more interconnected. A sort of ennui regarding modern life. Startling juxtapositions. Contemporary +1. I like Sam's work a lot. Dry, funny, genuine (whatever I mean by that). 

Charlotte Newman, Trammel (Penned in the Margins, 2016)
This is a frequently confusing collection, but it's so wilful and determined and musical, you can lean into it without flinching. It feels like its complexity is a neccessary reaction to its subject matter - the interweaving of feminism, history, politics, books, bands and all sorts, but perhaps the political element is what feels like the guiding hand throughout. Reads at times like Mary Beard got drunk with the Oxford English Dictionary while listening to Le Tigre. (This collection is also the epitome of a book that should not be read and processed in a single day, and makes me wonder if I haven't made a horrible mistake in taking this daily reading schedule on. Hmm.)

Joe Brainard, I Remember (Penguin, 1995; originally 1970)
Oh wow. I've read this before, but in fits and chunks and definitely not all in one go. As ludicrous as the "one poetry book a day" thing may be, it worked especially well for this. If you don't know it, the poem itself is such a simple idea. A long prose poem with each idea (whether one line or a whole paragraph) separated by linebreaks, and each one starts "I remember...". I've heard people say this is a poetry cliche, probably because of other poems ripping this off, but it's so beautifully done here. A mix of funny childhood observations, mixed with memories of sexual awakening, gay awakening, confusions, tastes and experiences. So relatable and so open. Also very distracting, as each line constantly sparks off a sequence of other recollections of your own as you read. 

Ed Doegar, For Now (Clinic, 2017)
I'm very good friends with Ed, so should say that up front. This is his first pamphlet and I'm predisposed to think it's wonderful. I do think it's wonderful. I don't think I'm wrong to thing it's wonderful. Very short lines often, very succinct. Lines have a gentle persuasiveness, within a larger quiet anxiety about the circumstances in which we find ourselves existing. Political, personal, devotional. As if we are all tourists in our own world. 

Kristina Ehin The Scent of Your Shadow Arc 2010
I remember seeing this Estonian poet at Southbank's Poetry Parnassus festival about five years ago. She wandered around with a sort of ethereal air, someone who understood something magical. I came across her book in the Poetry Library this week and realised I hadn't actually read it back when the festival was on. She writes very personal poems, about a clearly contemporary experience, but with an enormous connection to folk traditions and to the natural world, to old forests and the sky. There is something very spiritual and organic happening here, something which does not shy away from passion and emotion. 

So that's the first seven, already. How quick and casual it seems to cover books in this way, when so often poetry is about lingering and returning and sinking into. This is the opposite of poetry. 

I'm struck most though, reading these publications all in such close succession, by how quickly poets can create such vastly different worlds for us to be drawn into, and how much work linebreaks do in terms of giving our imagination the space to really internalise every word and image as we go. (I mean – duh, "linebreaks do a lot of the hard work in poetry" is hardly a profound thought, but still feels worth saying.)

I'm also realising that one of the main challenges here isn't to read a book of poems a day, but to be able to process what I've read and actually write something useful about a book a day. I suspect it may prove almost as valuable as the reading itself. 

More next week...

Drag, Dragons and the Al-Khawaja Family

Last weekend I was a guest at Smith College, outside Boston, at a wonderful little sci-fi convention called ConBust. It's a liberal arts college for women (where Sylvia Plath went) and the audience were some of the most engaged and switched-on people you could possibly ask for. The panels they had on were a real range - anything from "Dragons are Awesome", "Misogyny in the Geek Workplace", "How to Edit as a Writer" to "Videogames Poetry" - and those are just some of the panels I was personally involved in. It was a very intimate but active fun time, and it was a delight to be able to go and interact with the other panellists and the audience there. Also a delight was being in America when the first episode of the new RuPaul's Drag Race was aired live - an irreverent show that I love, that has done a huge amount to bring drag into the mainstream.

This weekend I read a poem at, and then listened to, all three sessions of the English PEN Modern Literature festival, where new works were performed by thirty different writers in solidarity with individuals from PEN's "Writers at Risk" programme: thirty new works in support of writers, journalists and human rights activists forced to live in exile, or in unjust incarceration, or who have simply disappeared.

In the space of a week, I went from a panel called "Dragons are Awesome" (in which I raised the possibility that dragon dressage would be a fun olympic category if dragons were real), to a piece I wrote about the Al-Khawaja family, a family of Bahraini human rights activists, the father of whom is still currently imprisoned in Bahrain for nothing more than being a human rights activist, while two of his daughters, Maryam and Zainab, are obliged to live in exile in Denmark to avoid further imprisonment themselves.

So I've been having rather a long think about what on earth my life is. One of insane hearty privilege, for one, though I suspect that goes without saying.

The piece I wrote for the PEN event that you can watch here reflected these two different modes. It mixed factual information about the family that I've gleaned from research, reading, podcasts, interviews etc, and tied them up in the idea of personal ads, spilling out intimate information. And the piece aimed to be funny, in places, which I still feel a little uncomfortable about.

I think Tom Jenks' piece on Nabeel Rajab (also a prominent Bahraini human rights activist who has been unjustly imprisoned) and Matthew Welton's piece on Tutul (a Bangladeshi publisher, writer and editor who is living in exile in Norway after surviving an extremist attack) both also tried to tackle this idea of wanting to write something in solidarity that was engaged and committed, but that also in some way reflected the reality of our own experience as UK writers trying to write about them (not that this was necessary of course - just something I noticed). Steve Fowler, who curated the event, described in his opening notes about the commission: "this project begins in impossibility, for us to understand, to acknowledge our own fortune to not be in such a position as the writers we are celebrating" and I wanted in some way to acknowledge this in the piece that I wrote.

Perhaps it's also worth saying that I did consciously write it with the context in mind, ie that it would be read in a day of 30 performances throughout the afternoon and evening, and that perhaps a small injection of humour might be a useful moment of relief or perhaps release for the audience. One concern I had was that if everyone made the same choice to employ humour, that we would then have had a whole day of lighthearted pieces being made in the context of human rights abuses that do not bear them. Perhaps unsurprisingly though, an excess of levity across the day was not a problem. The other concern I had of course was that levity is simply not appropriate for the subject, but I made my choice, as mentioned above, and hope that it has not caused any offence.

All the readings from the event have gone online this morning, and they are all worth watching, as everyone came to the impossible problem of how to write about these different people in very different ways, and are all so valuable, both as creative works, and in drawing attention to the work and plights of others.

I learnt so much in the process of research and writing for this project, not just about the Al-Khawaja family, but also about Bahrain in general. I had no idea how bad things were there, in terms of the way the ruling regime has treated those who protest against it, and no idea how little the US and the UK are doing about it. Trump, for example, has just declared his intention to forge ahead with a jet deal that drops the human rights conditions Obama had attached to it. The UK has just opened a Naval Base there (that Bahrain has largely paid for), which is being sold to us by the Telegraph, along with improved trade relations with Bahrain, as a "perfect platform" for a post-Brexit Britain.

I don't claim to understand all the nuances of the political situation, but the human rights abuses being carried out in Bahrain are well documented. Learning more about the situation is helping me find opportunities where I can do more. For example, it strikes me that writing to my MP about the Bahraini rulers' human rights abuses is useful, as hopefully is this blogpost, as is joining English PEN, and I am looking for ways to do more.

By the way, if you would like a place to start in terms of learning more about the Al-Khawaja family, you can start here, though I also recommend finding out more about Bahrain generally, and the 2011 uprisings that were largely ignored by our newspapers, by watching this Al Jazeera documentary "Shouting in the Dark" here.

Now I'm sat here, typing this up, and I'm still thinking about the leap to this from the "Dragons are Awesome" panel last weekend. My life is mixed and confusing and strange and overall fine, filled with these seemingly irreconcilable activities. Obscene as it feels, I need to acknowledge the coexistence of these two different modes of living, both my desire to be helpful in the world, and my desire to talk about, for example, how Katya never should have left season seven of RuPaul's Drag Race when she did. But I suspect that the more I can reconcile these two modes, the more it will liberate me to be more bravely useful - that I can do more once I accept and stop being ashamed of how different my life is, and how limited my experience and help.

One thing that Maryam comes back to again and again in interviews is this idea that she, they, are not exceptional in being human rights activists, that it is normal to say something when you see injustice. Perhaps that's a useful point to end on, making this sort of action more normal, something to fold into daily life. As normal as watching Drag Race, liking dragons or wanting to write a poem is to me.

No, wait, this is where I'll end. Linking to where you can sign up for English PEN's mailing list, even if you don't want to join.

Patti Smith and Spontaneous Kindness

The cumulative effect of everything that's happened this year is a lot to bear, isn't it? I wrote a post the other day about some books and things that helped me get through this year, but walking down to the river today I was trying to think of more personal things too. It's hard to respond to in a way that accepts bleakness whilst also allowing for hope. So, some distractingly nice things first, and then Patti Smith.

First, some family things that were good this year. It was great to take Kieron's mum to San Diego Comicon with us this year. She got to see a completely different side of our life, of her life. She also caught her first Pokemon, and I will remember the spectacular moment when she celebrated her catch forever.

A few months before this, Kieron and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. That seems like it's pretty momentous. We've been together ten years in total, and friends for much longer than that. That's over a decade of bad puns, bad wine and good company. May there be at least another decade more, the glorious beast. We went to visit my family in the mountains in Italy in August. Kieron left a few days before I did, and my three and half year old sort-of niece spent the rest of the week asking me: "Dov'è tuo padre?" i.e. "Where is your father?" Our best guess was that she assumed he must be my dad because the two of us spend so much time holding hands, and she only really associates hand-holding with parents. This is the warmest misunderstanding that has ever arisen from our public displays of affection.

Another wonderful moment that meant a lot to me this year - an act of spontaneous adventuring. We came home from San Diego Comicon via LA for a few days, ostensibly for work, along with our friends Jamie and Katie (Jamie is often referred to as Kieron's work-wife). Kieron and Jamie had a meeting that was going to last maybe half an hour or so, and the idea was that Katie and I would just wait for them in the rental car. I can't remember exactly how it happened, but when they left she remembered something I'd been saying before about this being was my first time in LA, and that I really wanted to go to the Griffith Observatory (the observatory in Rebel Without a Cause, The Terminator, and a million other things) and then she said something like "You know, it's really not so far away from here" and immediately started the car and began driving us away, asking me to look up directions on the phone. What was meant to be a sort of nothing 40-minute wait turned into an exciting secret road trip up a mountain, with me being dropped off and running to the edge to see the big view over LA and take a quick photo as she turned the car around (she has been before, I hasten to add). Chances are we wouldn't have had time to do it at any other point anyway, and it was so much more exciting to do it this way. A small act, in a very privileged trip and all that, I know, I know - but for a moment there it was like being an adventurer. What a thrill. And what a kindness for Katie to think of doing it at all. Small acts of spontaneous kindness make me want to make small acts of spontaneous kindness too.

The other big thing that sticks out for me this year is seeing Patti Smith sing 'Land/Gloria' the week after the referendum. Kieron and I got tickets to go and see Massive Attack, who she was playing with. (They were both great btw, reminding me why I loved them in the first place, how strong and political and relevant they are.) And Patti Smith - well, I've never seen her live before, and I didn't dare to hope she'd play 'Land' (spoilers: apparently she often ends gigs with it now) and when it started I felt that full rapturous sprawl of nerve start to spread down the back of my neck. That song is so powerful - the idea of losing control and then taking it back again. It's a song full of ideas and drive and hope and action. And, of course, someone took a video of it at the gig we were at, so you can experience it too - Patti Smith's guttural anger and rage and passion funnelled into a communal experience that acknowledges horror but refuses to submit to it. 

Happy New Year's Eve, everyone.




Meaningful Things

Here is a list of things this year — books, games, tv, etc — which have been particularly meaningful to me (ignoring single poetry collections for now, as they need a post of their own). Thank you to the people who made these things, which helped make this stupid year more bearable.


Currently & Emotion: Translations
ed. Sophie Collins
(Test Centre)

A great anthology of translations — all different types of translations, unexpected source materials and strategies for handling them — designed to stimulate translation culture. All the pieces are so interesting (along with insightful intros to each one) and I think are mostly taken from longer works, the majority of them by women, like Anne Carson's Albertine Workout, Rachael Allen's 4chan Poems, or Vahni Capildeo's Measures of Expatriation. This feels like a force for good in the world, clearing a path for a strong thoughtful future.

*



Pamphlet Series
various authors
If a Leaf Falls Press

I'm signed up as a subscriber to receive every pamphlet produced by If a Leaf Falls Press (set up by Sam Riviere) and it's been a recurring source of intrigue and pleasure. It's only been running this year (and, disclaimer, Sam published a pamphlet by me among them) and they're in super-limited editions, with no way to predict what's going to arrive. Pamphlets included anything from lists of Uber car pickup names & dates, an apparent patient's diary of observations, a list of alternative titles to film names (eg Twelve Hangry Men, which made me spit my tea out when I first read it) and all kinds of stuff. Always interesting, always different, always a delight when a new pack of pamphlets drops through the letterbox.

*



Bojack Horseman
Netflix

KG and I only heard about Bojack Horseman this year, so had the joy of being able to binge watch three whole seasons in a row. If you don't know it, it's an animated comedy/drama for adults about a washed up actor in LA who, back in the nineties, was in a very famous tv show. He's also a horse. He has a friend, another actor, a labrador called Mister Peanutbutter. His agent is a cat called Princess Caroline. But his biographer Diane is a human, as is friendly moocher Todd. I'm not sure why, but this mixture of animals and humans works across multiple levels — simple one-liners as well as more nuanced extended humour at times. Plus it's fun to watch animals and humans interact in familiar but surprising ways. Forget all that though — this is not a quiet distracting comedy, it's also a drama. A bleak, cynical, blunt, and only occasionally warm look at celebrity and creative life in LA (but mostly bleak). The next season is coming out next summer and I can't wait. Here are the opening credits so you'll get an idea of tone.

*



Wound
Richard Scott
The Rialto

Richard is a very good friend and his first pamphlet of poems came out this year — it was so good to see it (and it just won the Michael Marks Awards — hooray for him!). I really love his poems. They navigate a world of love, sex and sensuality, seducing us over and over with language. Can't wait to read more. It's dark and wonderful, full of desire. (Also it just made me laugh that in googling for this cover I had to type in "wound richard scott" which is the last thing I'd ever want to do.)

*



My Favourite Murder
Karen Kilgariff & Georgia Hardstark
Feral Audio Podcast

Two LA comedians sit in a room and tell murder stories to each other, punctuated by contributions from a vocal cat called Elvis. And it's brilliant. Georgia Hardstark and Karen Kilgariff combine humour, horror and a basic human desire to avoid getting murdered by serial killers. It says a lot about this horrible year that I've found shows about death to be enormously reassuring.

*




Nailbiter
Joshua Williamson & Mike Henderson
Image Comics

Continuing this theme of being heartened by murder, I've binged through all of Nailbiter this year, an ongoing comic at Image Comics. You can buy up to issue 25 in collected trades, though the final (eep!) arc is currently being released in single issues, with the finale coming in March). It revolves around a fictional town that has produced a disproportionately high number of America's serial killers, and we gradually get to discover why, with darkness, suspense and humour. I binged through this initially as an excuse to make sure it was a suitable gift for my mother-in-law (who expressed interest in it when we took her with us to San Diego Comicon this summer) and it certainly is. But she'll have to wrestle me for it.

*




Neko Atsume
Hit-Point 

I cannot believe I'm still feeding these damn cats. Purchased at the start of January 2016, this phone game is something I have checked into at least twice (if not more than twice) every single day this year, and it's one of the gentlest, sweetest secret pleasures I have. It's less "game" and more "show me my garden of cats who will soothe me".

*



New Boots and Pantisocracies
ed. WN Herbert & Andy Jackson
Smokestack Books

Bill and Andy started up the New Boots blog shortly after the election last year, and it's been a heartening reminder that poets can and do want to engage, directly and productively, with the political horrors of the past year and a half. This anthology of poems from the blog was published this year by Smokestack and it made me so happy to have in the house (and, yes, disclaimer, I have a poem in here too). The blog itself is no longer updated daily, but still puts out strong and interesting work when it does. https://newbootsandpantisocracies.wordpress.com/

*




No Man's Sky
Hello Games

This is the opposite of political engagement. This is me running away into space alone and hiding. And mining. And feeding and befriending compound dinosaurs. I think this is a wonderful game (I know it's had a lot of criticism this year, but I don't agree with any of it). I've spent a huge and relaxing amount of time exploring beautiful new worlds that, thank goodness, have nothing at all to do with this one.

*


  
RuPaul's Drag Race
Netflix

So rude, so crude, so glorious. Not without its controversies, especially in earlier shows, but I have given myself over to this as a source of pretty consistent joy. A reality show for drag queens that you can watch on Netflix, this show is capable of tremendously petty, shallow yet wickedly entertaining scenes, as well as honest heartbreaking moments of emotional intensity. Come for the bitching, stay for the glamour, humour and celebration of drag. Sometimes I want to get one of RuPaul's catchphrases inscribed on my wrist as a tattoo for constant reference: "Good luck. And don't fuck it up." Here's a clip of one of my favourite regular features The Snatch Game.

*



Centres of Cataclysm: Celebrating Fifty Years of Modern Poetry in Translation
ed. Sasha Dugdale, David & Helen Constantine
Bloodaxe Books

This is a great anthology too, full of poems about migration, war, revolution and hope. It's an almost overwhelming testimony of resilience, and celebrates fifty years of Modern Poetry in Translation magazine. I did some work on helping clear permissions for this, and so many poems in here break my heart again and again, by all sorts of poets from all sorts of places (eg Primo Levi, Kim Hyesoon, Miroslav Holub, Anna Akhmatova, Pasolini...). So, I'll leave this post, and this overall diabolically shitty year, with a quote from a Seamus Heaney poem that's included in this anthology (a translation of 'The Sibyl' from Virgil's Aeneid). The lines that follow straight after these are "A road will open to safety / From the last place you would expect... " but, as I'm not totally convinced I dare hope for safety, instead I'll end it here. Best wishes for next year, folks. Am breathing in now.

     But whatever disasters befall, do not flinch.
     Go all the bolder to face them, follow your fate
     To the limit.


Poem for Someone

I saw someone apologise to Jamie
saying they thought they’d understood
what it felt like when Brexit happened
but now realised that they hadn’t
and summed up Trump like this:
“It feels like my country died.”

I started following historian Simon Schama
as he retweeted people arguing with him.
One guy said, “Let’s give him his 100 days.
While being most watchful.” Schama replied:
“He’s already unleashed evil... white supremacists
who now rejoice and spread poison.”

He continued: “If our optimistic reading is
he’s a cynic not a fascist, then we are in deep trouble
as genuine fascists will feed off the betrayal.”
Then I read tweets by my friends like: “First
Brexit, then Trump, and now the boiler’s broken.”
Then Leonard Cohen died and everyone went quiet.

My lines get longer and more awkward
as I struggle to manage my reactions.
I think of the last line in Denise Riley saying:
“You will bear what can not be borne.”
It gives me hope whilst reinforcing darkness,
the sense that everyone is divided, broken.

I am ashamed of hope. It feels too soon for hope,
for the privilege of ‘coming together’ to fight,
rising above, and all those platitudes. There is no
rise, no one side who should be better than the other,
telling who and how to act, vote, think or spit.
There is only history and what reality can teach us.

Resist sadness. Like when asked, “Is this the protest?
How long does it last?” a woman said: “Four years.” Resist
despair. Be prepared to stand up for vulnerable people and do so.
Don’t fear difficult situations. Engage. Mock less. Find words
of love. Listen harder. I learnt the collective noun for wombats
is a ‘wisdom’, and for one small moment I stopped being afraid.

Bear!

BEAR is coming in May 2017 from Bloodaxe Books!

http://bloodaxebooks.com/ecs/product/bear-1145

Danez Smith's Dinosaurs

It's been slow going in terms of blogging recently, but a breakneck pace for everything else. "Feel like time's moving too quickly? Then cram more in!" That seems to have been my approach so far this year... Anyway, am just checking in quickly to post a link to a piece I wrote for Anthony Wilson's blog about Danez Smith, called Away With The Dinosaurs. I will be updating this blog again soon. I suppose it's good that I have at least been blogging somewhere...

Swings, Roundabouts, Rollercoasters

I've been reading a few end-of-year lists, whether about books or blogposts, music, films or poems. I quite like them. They help me see what I've missed or remind me of things I'd forgotten. Perhaps not when they're conservative sausage-fest lists though, which interest me less. But in general I like looking at them. They help me try to make sense of things. The key word for me this year, personally, has been: busy. That may be an understatement.

This year has been on rails. Frantic. A rollercoaster car that somehow manages to navigate the curves at high speed without falling off and plummeting into the earth. I definitely signed up to the ride, but have rarely felt like I had any control over steering the thing. Just stay in the car and hope for the best.

I've been teaching (and planning, and marking) all year, postgrads and undergrads, which has been hard at times but hugely rewarding. I've had my regular work deadlines (editing comics and other freelance) coming round on a monthly loop across several different projects and publishers. The main publishers are based in San Francisco so we tend to work very late hours around deadlines. We've travelled a lot for work. Comicons are great fun but they're also exhausting. The comics themselves are really satisfying to work on. Swings and roundabouts, as well as rollercoasters.

Then there's the Poetry Comics book I made, and the two exhibitions and assorted workshops that went with it - they've pretty much dominated the year for me. It doesn't sound like much in a sentence, but you can read more about the whole thing here. Then there was the annual Poetry Book Fair which I organise with Joey Connolly - more people through the doors than ever, more publishers, and thus more work, but I think we just about managed to pull it off. Next year: more help. I've done some fun readings too - furthest away was at Toppings in St. Andrews, biggest was probably the Newcastle Poetry Festival. I gave a paper at the Goldsmiths Poetry Conference, ran a comics workshop at Nottingham Uni with Delightful Husband, wrote reviews, read new books, watched new films, rewatched Die Hard, all that stuff. The book I realise I've purchased most frequently this year, in order to share the delight with others, is Tom Jenks' & SJ Fowler's 1000 Proverbs (Knives, Forks & Spoons Press) which you'll find a sample of here.

Any end-of-the-year list is largely personal. What stands out most for me (perhaps unsurprisingly, given how much time I spend running around like a coke-addled labrador) are all the personal things, many of them moments I've spent with family and friends. I threw my husband a Tolkien-themed 40th birthday party and everyone came round to decorate hurridly for the surprise - I looked around our house in glorious chaos, mid-bunting, mid-light hanging, mid-dressing, and fell in love with everyone in the room, all busy and helping each other. I laid on my back on the Aldeburgh stone beach in November and fell in love with the stars. I fell in love with my husband over and over after the silliest things, rarely the most meaningful. I swam in the Pacific Ocean for the first time. Our little cat became so relaxed one evening when purring on me in bed, she stretched over and fell off it completely, and our laughter scared her right out of the room (she came back). I cried a little hearing Joanna Newsom play live again. I cried a little reading Ray Fawkes's The People Inside. I loved eating toasted sandwiches with my parents at Turf Lock on the River Exe. We went to the Empire Strikes Back Secret Cinema event and watched Ben Kenobi die ten feet in front of us. My mother-in-law stroked R2-D2 like a pet.

I've also been to an extraordinary number of weddings this year, for my age. It feels horrible to lump them all into one "wedding" box though. The older everyone gets, the more significant weddings seem to become. It's very different watching 40 year olds get married than watching 20 year olds. They were all weddings of people we've seen go through horrible and wonderful times, and were all so different. I feel lucky to know so many people still doing anything as optimistic as getting married. This year has been filled with love.

Except when it hasn't, of course. What else have we seen? An election that put a Tory majority back in power. An expansion of our warmongering in the Levant. More bombings. More homeless refugees in need of aid. Paris. Paris. Record-breaking hurricanes. Climate change realities. Beloved public figures shown to be sexual predators again. A seemingly endless run of shootings in the States and so much systemic racism. At the same time, we saw close-up photographs of Pluto for the first time. A snapshot on the way to infinity I can hold in my hand on a screen and experience, all so briefly, before I turn it off and zoom back into my own life, rush down a sandwich, drink a glass of water. I don't know how to make sense of the world.

Perhaps the word isn't just "busy" but "tired". I'm so tired of the news, the world, these horrible things, the sense of inability to effect change, the lack of time to engage with it anything more than superficially. I'm so immensely glad of all the opportunities I've had this year, and it has been amazing, but it won't do. I need more time. We all need more time. We're running out of time.